


Fire In His Eyes

by Trude11



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: I tried at least, M/M, a tiny little bit of angst?, and they have a little kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trude11/pseuds/Trude11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a wonderful family with the person you love sounds perfect.<br/>But Louis Tomlinson has to find out that something that seems to be perfect, doesn’t necessarily is perfect.<br/>His life with Harry Styles and their daughter Alice is the best example for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire In His Eyes

Looking into the green eyes of his laughing daughter, Louis wondered why everything was so complicated. He had a life that most would call perfect.

 

Nine wonderful years of One Direction with his four best friends, a loving and handsome boyfriends and the most amazing, beautiful daughter. The family he had always dreamed of.

Turns out that not everything that seems to be perfect, necessarily is perfect.

 

When he felt a splash of warm water on his face he snapped out of his thoughts.

Alice smiled at him proudly, having figured out a way to get his attention back. Her little white tooth showing in a big smile that was so similar to Harry’s smile.

 

He laughed a warm, quiet laugh and opened his arm. “Come on princess! Let’s get you out of the water and into your pjs.”

 

Carefully lifting Alice out of the bath and onto the already prepared towel, Louis pressed a small kiss on his daughter’s cheek.

 

In responds she laughed brightly and started babbling, her little hands helping her to tell the story.

He got onto his knees, using the towel to gently rub the tiny body dry.

 

The bathroom door was being opened and Louis could instantly feel the knot in his stomach tighten and the tension in his body, that had been there since Alice had woken him up this morning, reached a new high.

 

There was no need for him to turn around to know that Harry just entered the room. He could tell by the way the whole room seemed to have heated up and the little bit of energy that Louis had left flows out of his body.

 

Not looking up when he felt the warmth of another body, not quiet touching his, next to him he helped Alice into her pajama.

 

As soon as he closed the last button Alice wiggled herself out of his hands and opened her arms. Harry picked her up, kissing butterfly kisses all over her face “I missed you so much sweetie! Look at you, you have grown so much in the last two weeks. My little, beautiful girl!” While Louis just kept his eyes down, Harry got up.

 

Just before he opened the door he paused and looked around.

Wary almost scared Louis turned around meeting Harry’s eyes for the first time this night.

 

The green eyes that he loved so much looked tired, unsure and hurt, so… vulnerable.

Louis closed his eyes, not able to stand so many feelings shown in the eyes of the person he loved most.

 

Without any words being exchanged Harry turned around and opened the door. Hugging Alice even tighter he stepped out of the bathroom, mumbling more sweet and loving things into her ears.

 

Only when he heard the sound of the bathroom door being shut again he dared to open his eyes again. He moved from the position on his knees and turned around to lean against the bathtub.

 

Putting his head, that suddenly felt way to heavy for his neck to hold, he tried to relax his tense muscles to prepare for the ‘talk’ that was bound to happen sooner or later.

Louis really hoped it would happen sooner rather than later because the past two weeks of not talking to Harry had drained all of his energy.

 

Once he felt like he could stand up without his knees giving in he got up from the cold tiles and moved to the kitchen, still needing to clean up the mess Alice had made over dinner.

 

It always fascinated him how much of a mess a one and a half year old bundle of energy could make in such a shot amount of time.

In moments like these he wondered how his mum had managed to handle five of them.

 

After he had cleared the table Louis filled up the sink with hot water and put in way to much dish soap.

He loved to watch the bubbles getting bigger and bigger, the different colors on the surface like a rainbow and the way even the most beautiful bubble burst when he puts the dishes into the water.

 

*

 

2 Weeks Prior

 

Louis knew that Harry had to leave tonight, that he had to do the promo tour in America for his new album. But that didn’t mean he liked it one little bit. 

Recently Harry had been away far too much for Louis’ liking.

He didn’t spend much time with his daughter anymore, wasn’t there when she ventured her first few steps, got her first tiny tooth and said dad for the first time. So many things that Louis wanted to share with Harry.

 

Whenever Louis would tell Harry how he felt he always got a response that was somewhere along the lines of

“Louis, I’m here as often as I can! It’s just really busy at the moment, I have to make sure that everything works out with the album I promise that once it gets a little bit quieter I’ll be home more often, love”

 

He had lost track of how many times Harry had told him that months ago and usually he didn’t say anything when Harry left after only a few nights at home.  
But tonight, as Harry once again packed his suitcase after only 3 days at home with him and Alice, Louis didn’t want to hear it for the 100th time.

 

The short time they got to spend together had been full of reproachful glances from Louis, because he didn’t want Harry to leave again so soon, and an annoyed Harry, who couldn’t understand why Louis just wouldn’t enjoy the time they had together and accept that he had to leave again after a few days at home.

 

Harry really had thought that Louis knew how it was like.

How busy life could get when you had to make sure that your new album wouldn’t flop.  
Louis stood in the kitchen doing the dishes like every night when Harry walked in, holding his suitcase in both hands.

 

He knew what would come now, a mumbled goodbye and the promise that he would miss Louis very much. Maybe even a kiss on the cheek.

 

Then he would turn around and leave. Like every time…

Louis took a deep breath. “See you in two weeks, have a great time!” He didn’t bother to turn around. The surprised gasp that Harry let out already told him that he had caught him of guard.

Usually he waited for Harry to say goodbye first in the desperate try to make the time they had together that much for longer.

 

Instead of turning around to look at the expression on Harry’s face Louis just continued to put the dirty dishes into the hot water, the cold porcelain destroying some of the bubbles when it made contact with them.

 

With a sign Harry put down his suitcase “Louis, I know that y-“

 

Louis didn’t let him finish the sentence. After hearing it so many times he had no intention to hear it again.

 

“No Harry, you don’t know anything! You’re never home anymore and when you are and when you are you never ask how I am, how my time here alone at home was. You always tell me about the great time you are having on your amazing trips, play with Alice and meet up with your oh so important friends and mates from your team.”

 

He turned around to look Harry into his eyes to see the reaction his words were having on him. Then he continued.

 

“You spend every bloody minutes with them on tour, yet it is more important to spend time with them when you are home than with us, your family! In the last 6 months you have spend more nights in random hotel beds than in OUR bed! What kind of family is that?!”

 

Louis took a deep breath, shaking from the outburst of anger that he had held back for a long time now.

 

Harry just looked at him in shock and at a loss of words. When he made no move to say anything Louis took that as an opportunity to just continue.

 

“I have spent so many nights lying awake, thinking about you, about us! So many mornings I woke up without you next to me when there was nothing more I wanted, than to be in your warm arm and to smell you! And now that you finally are home for once I still don’t get to wake up in your arms because your stay the night at a mate’s house or you get up way before me.”

 

He keeps his eyes looked with Harry’s, trying to find the reaction to what he had said. But he didn’t find anything. All he could see in the eyes that were once filled with happiness, passion, love of life and a deep, deep love for him, Louis, was a blank and emotionless expression.

 

So he just kept talking, desperately trying to get a reaction.

 

“Can you remember the last time you told me that you love me?” still not getting a reaction out of the other man he answered the question himself.

“You know what? I can’t remember either. And that is just sad.”

 

Finally Harry moved, having taken in all the things Louis had just said.

 

“Do I always need to tell you that? My god Louis, you know that I do! And you also know how it is like to work in the music biz. And when I decided to try it as a solo artist you said you would always be there for me and help me, which you by the way haven’t! That is why I spend so much time with my friends, with the people that truly support me…”

Harry said raising his voice ever so slightly as he spoke.

 

“Well, than go, go to your supporting friends that are always there for you! If I’m not good enough for that then go!” Louis spat out.

 

Harry took a deep breath and when he spoke again it was easy to tell how hard he was trying not to let his anger about the all the things that Louis had said show.

 

“So you are saying that you have been there for me? Louis, lately the closest we have been to having a proper relationship is our shared bank account. No kisses, no sex and no cuddling, no talking and no closeness anymore! And don’t tell me that that is my entire fault.”

 

Letting out a humorless laugh, Louis took a step towards Harry. “I haven’t been there for you, really?

Have you ever thought about me being at home with Alice all the time? Excuse me, for not attending all your concerts, cheering you on, because I am at home looking after OUR daughter, trying to give her a normal life. And for wanting you here at home so you can see Alice growing up! But you know what? If your friends understand and support you, maybe you should leave now. They might even put out for you and cuddle you afterwards… Honestly, just leave now. If your life is too busy for Alice and me it will be best if you just leave. We won’t be in the way for you and your wonderful solo career!”

 

Wordless Harry picked up his suitcase, that he had dropped at some point, turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

 

When Louis heard the door he screamed “I’M SERIOUS, LEAVE AND DON’T COME BACK!”

 

The door was slammed shut and suddenly the house was almost painfully quiet.

Louis hadn’t noticed that tears where streaming down his face and over his heated cheeks.

 

Angrily wiping them of his face he walked towards their bedroom and crawled under the covers and curled up on Harry’s side that hadn’t been used in a long time.

He turned his face into the pillow, taking in the fading but familiar scent.

 

They both knew that Louis didn’t really mean it when he told Harry not to come back but he had still crossed a line by doing so.

 

Maybe he should have been there for Harry more. Listen to his stories, support him, just being the boyfriend Harry needed.

 

He pulled the blankets around him even tighter to stop the shaking and closed his eyes to try and get some sleep.  
The realization that the cold that made him shiver came from deep inside came over him together with a restless sleep.

*

In the Stylinson kitchen

 

“I read Alice a bedtime story and put her to bed, she is fast asleep now.”

Louis snapped out of his thoughts, feeling the tears stream down his face, like so often in the past 2 weeks.  
Slowly he turns around, not wiping away the tears to hide them.

 

Harry looks hurt, tired, broken and so unsure. Unsure if Louis really doesn’t want to see him anymore. There is no need of words, just a silent conversation with their eyes.  
Hesitantly Harry takes a few steps towards him, waiting for Louis to move away or to do something to stop him. When nothing happens he closes the remaining distance, opens his arms and captures Louis in a hug, holding him close, showing him everything he can’t put into words.

 

Instantly Louis lets himself fall into the strong and familiar arms. He wraps his arms around the other man’s slim torso and pulls him even closer so that now there in absolutely no room between their bodies. He leans into Harry’s neck and takes a deep breath simply taking in his smell.

 

Both men just stand like that for a fem long moments and let the tears stream down their faces, enjoying the intimate embrace.  
After a while Louis can feel Harry’s arms move from around his neck down to his hips, fingertips sneak their way under his thin shirt, stroking little circles onto his warm skin.

 

When Harry bends down and presses a small kiss to his neck a shiver goes through Louis’ whole body and he lets out a little moan.  
Taking that as an ok to carry on Harry continues to press light kisses to Louis’ neck slowly making his way up, kissing along his jaw, to the corner of his mouth before he finally moves to place a gentle kiss onto Louis’ lips.

 

They stay like that for a while, simply feeling each other, before Harry pulls back and looks down at Louis. They look into each other’s eyes for a few second before Louis leans forward again, capturing Harry’s lips in another kiss.  
When Louis felt Harry’s tongue softly tracing along his bottom lip, hesitantly asking for entrance, he simply stopped thinking and let himself go completely.

 

He parted his lips so that welcoming Harry’s tongue with a nudge of his tongue. He didn’t even start a battle for dominance, just letting Harry take over.

When Harry explored his mouth like it was the first time, Louis let out low moan, which got lost somewhere in between their tangled tongues, and moved his hands up into Harry’s curls to bring his head even closer.

 

Louis sucked Harry’s tongue into his mouth, which caused the other man to suck a sharp breath through his nose and let out a groan. Than he slowly pulled back, feeling the need for oxygen, lightly biting onto Harry’s bottom lip while doing so.

 

Opening his eyes but not letting go of Harry’s curls, he looked up, into his green eyes.

And there it was, the eyes that had been so emotionless and tired were shining, a something he thought they had lost for good a long time ago was back, more evident than ever. His eyes looked like they were on fire, so many feelings showing.

 

When they are in bed together, later that night, and Louis can feel Harry slowly moving inside him while they share open mouthed and lingering kisses, he knows, that they will find a way to get through this rollercoaster called life, together.


End file.
